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Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Arithmetical magic
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
always Think +++++++ve
Something important for every couple.
Something important for every couple…
Monica married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party,
Monica's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook.
With Rs.1000 deposit amount.
Mother: 'Monica, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'
Monica shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Monica
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Monica got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted
..... and so on...
However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical now a days, huh?
One day Monica talked to her Mother:
'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!'
Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'
Monica thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home. When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.
The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Monica. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.'
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.
Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life. "When you fall, in any way, don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes!"
Nice joke!!!
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Thursday, November 6, 2008
Sri Krishna Tells The Gita ... ...
| Sri Krishna Tells The Gita Birth of the Gita To everyone's surprise, in this war for righteousness, in the beginning Arjuna, the great and brave warrior, finds himself suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling of mental depression, grief, and fear when he realizes that he has to fight with his close relatives - brothers, uncles, and Teachers - present as his enemies. Arjuna is greatly disturbed about the outcome of the war; destruction and death that was sure to follow. He thought it 'prudent' to retire to forest rather than kill his own near and dear ones. It is such a dramatic setting that we get the start to Bhagavad-Gita. The brave warrior Arjuna, with Lord Krishna as his charioteer, is standing between the two arrayed armies ready to start the battle, and then Arjuna lays down his arms to retire at the back of his chariot! Trembling with nervousness and anxiety, unable to lift his mighty bow -Gandiva - he pleads to escape from the consequences of the war. His emotions of love for the near ones, his concepts of duty and Dharma, all appear to be confusing to himself. He is unable to determine the correct approach in this piquant situation of grave urgency and emergency. Therefore he turns to Sri Krishna, his friend, his teacher, and his all: "How can I kill them? Will it not be proper to give up this whole kingdom, smacking of blood of my own relatives, and retire to forest in peace? O Krishna, I am unable to decide my further plan of action. I surrender myself at your holy feet. O Lord, please guide me through this difficult uncertainty as I am your disciple and you are my Teacher." Sri Krishna Tells The Gita
Thus, when Arjuna surrenders himself at the feet of the Lord, Sri Krishna says, "O Brave one, why this infatuation at this hour! Why have you given yourself to this unmanliness and cowardice? Do not think that by your high talk of 'renunciation and retiring to forest' people would adore you and call you noble and intelligent. On the contrary, for centuries to come, blame would be put on you for running away from the battle field. Generation after generation, people would laugh at you and make fun of your unmanly flight." Srimad Bhagavad-Gita, Chapter II, verse 2 and 3: "In such a crisis, whence comes upon thee, O Arjuna, this dejection, un-Aryan-like, disgraceful, and contrary to the attainment of heaven?" "Yield not to unmanliness, O son of Kunti! Ill doth it become thee. Cast off this mean faint-heartedness and arise, O scorcher of thine enemies." On listening to this rebuke, Arjuna steadies himself, and further dialogue between Lord Krishna and Arjuna follows in subsequent chapters. Thus the Gita consists of eighteen - 18 - chapters and a total of 700 verses contained in them. (In fact, Gita consists of a dialogue between our lower self and the Higher Self.) Arjuna puts many question about the goal in life, aim of human birth, about the nature of Duty and Work, about the Self - Atman - and about the four Yogas viz. Jnana-Yoga, Raja-Yoga, Karma-Yoga, and Bhakti-Yoga. Chapters II through IX deal with Karma-Yoga - Yoga of selfless action - vis-a-vis Jnana-Yoga. Sri Krishna exhorts Arjuna to fight the war without thinking of the consequences. "Your duty is, and you have right only, to fight; you do not have control over the outcome", says the Lord. The duty of a person as a Karma Yogi is to do the allotted work as worship without expecting any definite fruits thereof. Selfless work done with full heart and perfection is the best way for the worldly person to realize his inner Self. In fact efficiency in work itself is a Yoga! Those persons should embrace the life of renunciation (monasticism) in whom impressions of the past lives have created such attraction. But other persons who have no such tendency, persons in whom the past impressions of sense enjoyment persist, such aspirants - sadhakas - are not yet fit to take to life of sanyasins. Such persons actually, after some progress on the path of total renunciation -sanyasa, may get entangled in a tamasic inactivity - lazy life of hypocrisy. Such people do more harm than good to the cause of spirituality, religion, and social progress. For such people, which are in majority at a given point of time, Sri Krishna advocates Nishkam Karma Yoga - Yoga of selfless action - as the ideal path to realize the Truth. Allotted work done without motives, the work done without expecting or thinking about its result, purifies the mind that makes the person gradually fit to see the value of reason and benefit of renouncing the work itself!. Unless all mental desires and tendencies to enjoy sense pleasures are controlled and rooted out, a person does not become fit for final stage of Liberation. Yoga makes the person fit through action, devotion, contemplation, meditation , and discrimination to sharpen his reason, develop intuitive power of acquiring knowledge, and to transcend the mind itself! Theory of Incarnation In chapter IV, verse 7 and 8, Sri Krishna says: "Arjuna, whenever there is decline of righteousness, and unrighteousness is in the ascendant, then I body Myself forth," "For the protection of the virtuous, for the destruction of evil-doers, and for establishing Dharma (righteousness) on a firm footing, I am born from age to age." This concept of Divine Incarnation - Avatar - is at the very root of religiosity prevalent all over India. This hope that the Lord will come to the help and rescue of His devotees, and corrupt and greedy would be punished; that the Truth alone would prevail in the end and not the untruth, has had kept the flame of spirituality burning through the dark ages of foreign aggression and servitude. One should understand that Dharma here means attempting to seek our own higher self. From animal tendencies to Divine plane through human growth, this is the journey. Materialism, excessive involvement in sense enjoyment, and identification of ourselves as body-mind complex means 'unrighteousness is in the ascendant'. This excess involvement in senses means evil, greed, and corruption. Sri Krishna shows us the path: How to rise above these senses and transcend them to realize our higher state of consciousness - Atman. Gradually the discussion centres around the real nature of man and paths to seek the same. Says Sri Krishna, "O Arjuna, you are not this body, you are not this mind; you are ever pure, unchanging eternal Self, Atman. This Atman is covered with delusion/illusion of ignorance and comes to identify itself as body-mind complex. Therefore, when you say 'you will kill them, or get killed by them, you are actually telling a lie. The Atman is never killed, nor does it kill anybody." This body is like worn out clothes which the Atman changes as we change our old garments! ThenSri Krishna goes on elaborating the ways to realize self as Self by undertaking various spiritual disciplines. By proper control of senses, by way of renunciation and discrimination, and by constant practice it is possible to steady and control the mind and realize the higher Reality. The same end can be reached by Yoga of action and Yoga of devotion. In chapter XI there is a wonderful description of Lord Krishna revealing Himself to Arjuna as "Virat" - all pervading Reality. This Universal or Cosmic Form of Sri Krishna relates to three aspects of 1) shristi - creation, 2) sthiti - maintenance, and 3) vinash - destruction of all the worlds. The terrifying aspect of this Self makes Arjuna shudder with fear, and hence the Lord also reveals His most beautiful form that is full of bliss, beatitude, and serenity. Chapter XII lays stress on the path of devotion - Bhakti Yoga - and emphasizes qualifications and virtues of a Bhakta. Thus the Gita is a summary of all knowledge contained in the Vedas and Upanishads. The Gita is translated in many languages including the English. Many learned scholars and spiritually illumined souls have written commentaries on this Universal Gospel of Perennial Philosophy. Depending upon the priority and emphasis, some advocate Jnana-Yoga as the essence of Gita, while majority of the people thinks that the Gita expounds doctrine of Karma Yoga at its best. In recent times Swami Vivekananda has commented that the Gita exhorts everyone of us to arise, awake, and fight our unmanliness so that we emerge as active and strong Karma Yogis. We become true spiritual seekers to realize our true nature as Atman and thereby do immense good to the world. In the last chapter XVIII, Sri Krishna asks Arjuna, "Are your doubts cleared? O Arjuna are you freed from the delusory ideas regarding your true nature?" And the grateful Arjuna, full of bliss with recent realization of the true knowledge declares: "Yes, my lord. My ignorance has vanished. Destroyed is my delusion, and I have gained my memory through Thy Grace. O steadfast, I am firm; my doubts are gone. Thy will be done." |
Saturday, November 1, 2008
!!! Know your Value !!!
!!! Know your Value !!!
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a Rupee 500 note. In the room of 200,He asked, "Who would like this Rupee 500 note?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the note up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. "My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money. You still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth Rupee 500/-. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen. Never lose your value. You are special. Don't ever forget it! Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.
"VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF ITS VALUE IS VALUED"
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Ten Avatars of Vishnu - Dashaavatara ....
The Story of MATSYA Avatar  In MATSYA Avatar, Lord Vishnu incarnates himself as a fish in this world. In the earliest yuga (era) of Sata-yuga, a king named Manu was performing severe penance for thousands of years. One day as he was performing ablutions with river water, a small fish came into his hands and just as he was about to throw the fish back into the river, the fish requested the king to save its life. Heeding its request, the king put the fish into a jar of water but the fish started growing and the jar was not big enough for it. Then the king threw it into the river, but it soon it outgrew the river and the king then threw it into Ganges and then into the ocean. The king realized that it was Lord Vishnu himself and then the lord made an appearance and made a special request to the king. It predicted that the world would come to an end by a huge flood in seven days and requested the king to build a huge boat and take the seven sages(hermits), seeds of all plants, one animal of each type and told him that he would appear as a fish to propel the boat to Mt Himavan for surviving the flood to the next yuga(eon). True to his word, after seven days the Lord appeared and the king tied the boat to the fish by using the royal serpent Vasuki and the fish took all of them to Mt Himavan and kept them there till the flood was over and in the new era, the king started procreation for the new era.The Story of KURMA Avatar  In KURMA Avatar, Lord Vishnu incarnates himself as a turtle. It is an interesting story involving both the gods (devtas) and asuras (demons). In the ongoing saga of battle between the gods and asuras, on one occasion the gods suddenly lost all their strength due to a curse by the short-tempered sage Durvasa. The sage had once presented a garland of flowers to Indra, king of gods, who carelessly gave it away to his elephant which trampled it.The Devtas approached Vishnu for help. Vishnu then asked them to churn the ocean of milk after adding medicines into the ocean. Mt Mandara could be used a the churning stick he said. He requested them to ask them help of Asuras in lifting the mountain in exchange for offer of the share of nectar of immortality that would ensue from the churning. Both the devatas and the asuras churned the ocean using the serpent Vasuki as the rope. At the start, playing a Machiavellian trick, Indra, king of the gods asked the asuras for the head end of vasuki. But asuras suspecting foul play, took the head end, only to be deceived as the poison from Vasuki was slowly weakening them. But as churning was proceeding the mountain was sinking and then Lord Vishnu took the form of the turtle KURMA and kept the mountain afloat. As soon as the bowl of amrita, the nectar of immortality was out, the asuras grabbed it. Then Lord Vishnu took the form of an apsara, a beautiful maiden, and seduced the asuras into letting her distribute the nectar and also to abide by her order of distribution. As soon as the devatas were served the maiden disappeared thus totally deceiving the asuras and making them totally weak. The Story of VARAHA Avatar  In VARAHA Avatar, Lord Vishnu incarnates himself as a boar in this world. A demon Hiranyaksha, had prayed for Lord Brahma and got awarded a boon that no beast nor man nor god could kill him. But somehow from the list of beasts the name of boar was missing. This proved to be his lacunae. He then started a campaign of plunder across the worlds. He pushed the world to the Pataal loka, or the under of the sea. He stole the Vedas, the holy scriptures from the Lord Brahma, while he was asleep and performed huge atrocities. To retrieve the Vedas and to save the world the Lord Vishnu assumed the role of a boar and brought out the earth from the under of the ocean, using its two tusks. It then killed Hiranyaksha and retrieved the Vedas from the asura and brought it back to the safe custody of the Lord Brahma.The Story of NARASIMHA Avatar  In NARASIMHA Avatar, Lord Vishnu incarnates himself as a semi-man, semi-lion in this world. The king of demons (asuras), Hiranyakasyapa, wanted to become immortal and wanted to remain young forever. To this end, he meditated for Lord Brahma and because of his severe penance, the gods were frightened and asked Brahma to pacify the king. Brahma was impressed by his austerity and granted him a wish. HiranyaKasyapa wished that he be neither killed by a man or beast, nor in daylight or at night and neither inside or outside a building. Having obtained the wish he considered himself the supreme God and frobade all worship of gods by anyone.But his son Prahlada, was an ardent devotee of Vishnu. This enraged Hiranyakasyapa very much. He ordered numerous ways to kill Prahlada including asking his sister Holika to sit with Prahlada in the fire. But everytime Prahlada escaped unhurt. Enraged, once he asked Prahlad to show him the Lord Vishnu. Prahlad said, "He is everywhere". Further enraged, Hiranyakasyapa knocked down a pillar, and asked if Lord was present there. Lord Vishnu then emerged as a half lion, half man from the pillar which was neither inside the house nor outside, and the time was evening, neither night nor day. He then killed Hiranyakasyapa thus saving the life of his devotee Prahlada. The Story of VAMANA Avatar  In VAMANA Avatar, Lord Vishnu incarnates himself as a dwarf priest in this world. Bali, the grandson of Prahlada was a very valorous and mighty asura. By his penance and might, he conquered the whole world. Indra and other gods fearing that he and asuras would conquer all the three worlds, went to Lord Vishnu for help. Lord Vishnu was then born as a dwarf Vamana in the household of a brahmana (priest). He went to Bali on growing up and asked for alms. Bali was delighted to offer him anything he requested even though his priest warned him that it was Lord Vishnu.Vamana then requested for the amount of land that could come under his three feet. Bali gracefully agreed. Lord Vishnu then grew in size and covered the earth and heaven in two stride.. And due to lack of space, he put his third leg on Bali himself and crushed Bali to the nether or the Patala loka(underground world), thus helping the Gods out. The Story of PARASHURAMA Avatar  In PARASHURAMA Avatar, Lord Vishnu incarnates himself as a brahmana (priest) in this world. He was brought in this world to avenge all kshatriyas who had become arrogant and were suppressing the brahmans in the world. He was born to Jamadagni and Renuka, and belonged to the Brighu clan. Parashurama was always carrying an axe presented to him by Lord Shiva of whom he was an ardent devotee. Kartavirya a powerful king, once went to Jamadagni's home when he was out, and after a meal, stole the Kamadhenu cow, which was supposed to give endless quantity of milk.Jamadagni was enraged and he went and killed the king and brought Kamadhenu back. On hearing this, the son of the king came back and killed Jamadagni. Parashurama was enraged at this and went and avenged the death of his father by killing all kshatriyas in 21 battles. The Story of RAMA Avatar  In RAMA Avatar, Lord Vishnu incarnates himself as RAMA, the central character in the epic Ramayan. In the epic, the character RAMA is expected to show the world the characteristics of an ideal person, including ideal son, ideal husband, ideal king and an ideal person. RAMA was incarnated upon this planet to get rid of the asura with ten heads, Ravana, who had been granted a boon by Brahma of immunity from gods, and other celestial beings. Ravana was too vainglorious to be thinking of being vanquished by a man. Hence RAMA was born and Lakshmi, wife of Lord Vishnu was born as Sita, his wife to be in this life. The story of Ramayan, is an exciting nail-biting story of the war raged by Rama against various evil elements of the world and in the end against Ravana.Ramayan epitomises the ideal behaviour of man, with special focus on man-wife relationship, son-father relationship and the rules for ideal governance by a king. The Story of KRISHNA Avatar  In KRISHNA Avatar, Lord Vishnu incarnates himself as KRISHNA , the central character in the epic MAHABHARATA. In the biggest epic of Indian mythology a myriad of topics are covered, including war, love, brotherhood, politics etc. It is essentially the story of two warring groups of cousin brothers, the PANDAVAs and the KAURAVAs. As a part of the Mahabahrata, during the war KRISHNA, gives a long discourse to his disciple ARJUNA, collectively termed as Bhagvad-Gita.Krishna, during his child-hood was responsible for the killing of Kamsa. Krishna is also considered to be an ultimate playboy who was responsible for charming all gopikaas around him. Unlike Ramayan, Mahabharata deals with more down to earth issues like politics, human nature, human weaknesses, and does not attempt to idealise the characters as in Ramayan. The Story of BUDDHA Avatar In BUDDHA Avatar, Lord Vishnu incarnates himself as BUDDHA, the ascetic prince who renounced the throne to lead the world on the path of peace. He is the founder of the BUDDHIST religion prominent across the world. In certain sects of Hinduism, he is considered to be a divine incarnation of Lord Vishnu. He was born the crown prince of the Kapilavastu to Suddhodana and Maya. He was named Siddhartha, meaning "All thing fulfilled" by the king. But his mother died soon after his birth but Prajapati, the sister of Maya, brought Siddhartha up. Buddha was saddened by death of living creatures, since his childhood days and used to question: "Alas! Do all living creatures kill each other?" He wasn't happy with any answers that were provided to him and he decided to find out the meaning and the absolute truth and he left his wife and child to a hermit's life in the forest and one day, became the enlightened one. His preaching spawned off the religion of Buddhism now popular across the whole world. The Story of KALKI Avatar  In KALKI Avatar, Lord Vishnu will incarnate himself as KALKI, the machine-man, who will come riding his white horse and with his blazing sword in his hands. This is supposed to be a future avatar of Lord Vishnu. At the end of Kali Yuga (present eon) He will punish all evil doers in this world, destroy this world and recreate a golden age again.KALKI is the last of the avatars of Lord Vishnu. |
Saturday, September 13, 2008
10 Most Romantic Tips
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Friday, September 12, 2008
Big PJ's of the year...........
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1) What's the difference between a fly & a mosquito?
Simple!
A fly can fly, but a mosquito cannot mosquito!!
(2) What did baby corn ask mom corn???
Where is Pop corn?
(3) Why is the River Rich?
It has two Banks!
(4) What do computers like to eat?
Chips!
(5) Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to School???
She had a Bright Student.
(6) When does Gulshan Grover become Gulshan Grocer.???
Ans: When he travels with the speed of light.(At that Speed, V=C)
(Velocity = Constant).
(7) Ek aadmi ke pass ek kauwa (CROW) tha ……….wo bahut hi naram mulayam tha …….
To woh aadmi uska naam kya rakhega ???
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Socho
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A) MICROSOFT ( My- Crow – Soft )
(8) Once in MIT, there was an Indian student.
He was very briliant, and his General Knowledge (GK) was excellent.
He won every Quiz in the institute .... Once he fell in love with a
Phirangi girl...
He proposed the girl, but She straight way rejected him ... calling him
Bloody Desi...
So after this, his GK fell drastically, and he stopped taking part in Quiz
and all.....
Now, u tell me the reason ... WHY ???
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becoz,
Jab Dil hee toot gaya ....
toh GK kya karenge ...
JJ
Love and death are Two Uninvited guests, when they will come nobody knows. but both do the same work,
one takes heart and the other its beats......
Why did the girl changed her name from Shruti to Shraxis?
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. Socho… kyu….. ???
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Because UTI bank is now Axis bank. Shruti ---Shraxis
1. A cow standing on the road keeps shouting 'F'... 'F'...
Why???
Because F=ma ( Newton 's Second Law :) )
2. A boy throws a bottle of Bournvita out of the window. A cat sees it, and takes the bottle of bournvita and buries it under the ground. Why?
Because 'CAT-BURIES' Bournvita
3. Who is called female Java?
Java'Gal' Srinath
4. 3 cockroaches are walking on the road. Suddenly 1 of them starts singing 'Tujhe Dekha To Yeh Jaana Sanam...' And the other 2 die immediately. Why?
Because it was a HIT song.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Just J O K E S .....................
J O K E S
January to december
sunday to saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed..... ..
u....
R....
always....
a HEADACHE to me !!!!
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the world
seems to be fading away, come along with me i'll take u an eye
specialist !!
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
During Marriage ceremony why are you made to sit on the horse ?
You are given your last chance to run away.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds..... .
Open ur eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a
fool........ ....
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
I wrote ur name on the sands....... ......
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air......... ......... ........
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart....... ......
i got a HEART ATTACK
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in ashes...
But dont worry - we are chain smokers
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy so when u
need true love spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
Dear Friend,
when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock
ARE U REALLY DEAF ?
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
when i call u;
1 ring means i'm thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means .........pick d phone idiot
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Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it to
exclamatory sentence ...
Student : WOW !
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in love
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SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality
SO....
Brush ur Teeth today onwards
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..
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History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir....
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Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ urage hitler had commited suicide
sunday to saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed..... ..
u....
R....
always....
a HEADACHE to me !!!!
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the world
seems to be fading away, come along with me i'll take u an eye
specialist !!
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
During Marriage ceremony why are you made to sit on the horse ?
You are given your last chance to run away.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds..... .
Open ur eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a
fool........ ....
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
I wrote ur name on the sands....... ......
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air......... ......... ........
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart....... ......
i got a HEART ATTACK
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LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in ashes...
But dont worry - we are chain smokers
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ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best
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True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy so when u
need true love spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow
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Dear Friend,
when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock
ARE U REALLY DEAF ?
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I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!
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when i call u;
1 ring means i'm thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means .........pick d phone idiot
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Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it to
exclamatory sentence ...
Student : WOW !
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The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in love
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SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality
SO....
Brush ur Teeth today onwards
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A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..
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History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir....
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Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ urage hitler had commited suicide
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