Gud Website about our Past

Was he a Mythological Figure ? or was really a King like Ashoka, Shivaji etc.. who lived 7200 years ago.....

Find out more on this website below

http://www.historicalrama.org/home.html

Accounting Standard 36

AS 36: Accounting for Girl Friends*

*Objective:*

The objective of AS 36 is to prescribe the accounting treatment for

Girl friends. The principal issues are the timing of recognition of a

Female friend as a girl friend, the no. of days the relationship can

Be carried on and any write down in this romantic relationship. It

also provides guidance on the methods to be employed to make GF.

*Scope:*

This AS applies to all GF's except those whose father, brother,

ex-boyfriends or prospective boyfriends are working in police, army,

intelligence agencies or political organizations or 6+ feet tall, have

muscular body and know kung fu, judo or any other marshal art.

*Definitions: *

The following terms are used in this Standard with the meanings specified:

LOVE is a serious mental disease, mostly found in old Indian movies,

dramas and Urdu literature.

FLIRTING is the modern form of love; this disease came from Hollywood

movies, new Indian movies, internet, mobile phones, and contemporary

literature.

MARRIAGE is a long term liability as a result of PAST events that is

expected to be settled by increasing the population, decreasing the

health and money.

GIRL FRIEND is a current asset as a result of past efforts that is

probable to generate future dates, intangible pleasures and gifts. If

not properly handled may become long-term liability i.e. wife.

BOYFRIEND-SPECIFIC VALUE is the present value of the future dates that

a boyfriend expects to realize from continuing use of the GF over its

useful life and from its disposal to his another friend at the end of

the flirting term

FLIRTING TERM is the higher of the following:

-from your first conversation till the time the GF father catches you

-from the time of your first date till your GF get married with

another person, in which case she will become your ex-GF.

-from the time of your first date till you get married with your GF,

afterward it will become a suffering term.

*RECOGNITION*

A girl shall be recognized as a girl friend if, and only if:

(a) it is probable that future physical benefits associated with the girlfriend will flow to the boyfriend,

(b) no possibility of GF becoming a long term liability (wife) exists and

(c) the expenditures to be incurred (e.g. in respect of gifts, cards

etc) can be measured reliably

Female Cousins, younger sisters, and other female friends associated

with the girlfriend should not be recognized. However, beautiful and

bold ones should be declared in the flirting statement if and only if

it is probable that they are expected to result in prospective

girlfriends.

*MEASUREMENT OF USEFUL LIFE OF GF*

All the following factors shall be considered in determining the

useful life of a GF:

(a) Expected "usage" of the girlfriend.

(b) Expected "physical" wear and tear, which depends on "operational"

factors such as the number of "shifts" the GF is to be used.

(c) Technical or commercial obsolescence arising from changes in

fashion or "service output" of the GF.

(d) "Legal" or similar limits on the "use" of the GF.

*DERECOGNITION*

The Girl Friend shall be derecognized:

1. at the end of the useful life of GF or flirting term whichever is earlier,

2. when no future benefits are expected from her or her disposal or

3. when remote possibility of GF becoming long term liability occurs.

*DISCLOSURE*

The flirting statement shall disclose, for each "class" of GF:

A) Total no. of GFs with:

- age of GF

- complexion, face cut

- the useful life of each GF

- email address, residential address and mobile no. of each GF

- any "special" benefits that may have been derived from the GF

B) A reliable estimate of the boy friend regarding no. of expected GFs

for each class of GF.

C) A reliable estimate of the expenditures to be incurred ( e.g. in

respect of gifts, cards etc) for each class of GF.

D) BOYFRIEND-SPECIFIC VALUE with respect to each class of GF.

Awesome Roses

Invoking Animal Spirit

Aamchi Mumbai - origin of mumbai

LalBaug Cha Raja 2009

English is very difficult language..

Clever Anagrams

PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN

MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters:
NICE SILKY WOMAN

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

THE EYES :
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE



SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME


ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

FOUR SQUARE PROBLEMS

pj........

and
2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile,
1st Sardar: chal police ko de k aate hain.
2 sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?
1st sardar: jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha
Doctor And .
Sardar 2 doctr: Mujhe 1 problem hai
DR: Kya?
Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta
Dr: aisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt
and Home
Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?
Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hun
Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun
and pray
A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."
After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le"
The real
Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha,
kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyun?
Sardar bola, Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega
and Hitler
Hitler says,
"There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"
Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na"
and Computer

Sardar: Yar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k lye.
Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?
Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.
Two Error! Filename not specified.
1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?
2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda soo hi jaye
1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya .
1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!
Sardar: Mere uper se hawai jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez hai?

nd Police
Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.
nd Practical
In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Sardar: I don't know.
Examiner: You r failed, what's your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

Risky Job..........

After 10 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no recommendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation.The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying; Myfriend, you have not worked here for even one day. The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain. Manager:- How many days are there in a year? Man:- 365 days and some times 366 Manager:- how many hours make up a day? Man:- 24 hours Manager:- How long do you work in a day? Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day. Manager:- S! o, what fraction of the day do you work in hours? Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third) Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days? Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days) Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends? Man:- No sir Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends? Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have? Man:- 18 days. Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining? Man:- 4 days Manager:- Do you work on New Year day? Man:- No sir! Manager! :- Do you come to work on workers day? Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- 2 days sir! Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )? Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- 1 day sir! Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day? Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- None sir! Manager:- So, what are you claiming? Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days. Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!! HR=HIGH RISK .

English in India .... Desi Master

A Tribute to the Professors of India, on their usage of English

# Inside the Class:
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
* Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor.
* You, meet me behind the class. ( meaning AFTER the class ..)
* Both of u three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today.
* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.
* Take 5 cm wire of any length.
* shhh... quite, the principal is rotating in the school.

* (Facing the Board)
Dont talk in front of my back.

# About his family:
* I have two daughters. Both of them are girls....(?)

# At the ground:
* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
* There is no wind in the ball.

# To a boy, angrily:
* I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

# Giving a punishment:
* You, rotate the ground four times...
* You, go and under-stand the tree...
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why are you late - say YES or NO ....(?)

# Sir at his best:
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school (to that boy): "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre."

Which Gender computers belong to

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlikeEnglish, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic; 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. (THIS GETS BETTER!) The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on; 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves; 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. The women won. Send this to all the smart women you know...and all the men that have a sense of humor